Skip to main content

The BioWare Sex Puppet Buffet

Hey, Mass Effect 3 is just a couple of weeks away. Who are you planning to bang?

No, I’m serious. Which one of the BioWare digital sex marionettes are you planning on shtupping right in the middle of a desperate battle to save the universe?  It’s the most important decision you can make in the game, and fortunately BioWare has a piece of hot space tail for every fantasy and every taste on board the Normandy, the swinging-est ship in the galaxy.  Even if your “thing” is blue-skinned lipstick lesbians, you’re covered in this sexy smorgasboard. There’s achievements and trophies riding on this decision, wink wink, so choose your sleazy pick-up lines from the dialogue trees wisely.

And if you’re going to be trying to work out the right path through the dialogues to get to the sleazy pick-up lines that win the heart(s) of anything with vaguely humanoid tits, then certainly you’re OK with a character making a come-on to you, right? Uh-oh- what if it’s a male character and you’re playing a male character? It’s that dreaded GAY AGENDA, they’ve come for your dicks! Silly BioWare, video games are for straights!

Sarcasm aside, it’s rather unfortunate that BioWare’s otherwise respectable character-driven RPGs truck in such juvenile nonsense and facile depictions of sex and relationships. I’m certainly no prude and I’m all for games including mature, adult depictions of sex and sexuality in any form- because that’s life.  I’m glad that they’re inclusive and realistically include both gay and straight characters, but the sum of it is that their whole intimacy shtick on both sides of the equation are so poorly handled that it’s an embarrassment that so many conversations surrounding their games loop around to who screwed who. Call me old fashioned, but I’m playing these games to see robots and aliens- not to have some kind of silly pubescent fantasy of conquest and virility.

READ ALSO:  Out of the Park Baseball 13 Preview

Don’t get me wrong- I know that this content is optional and just like everyone else I’m looking forward to another pop sci-fi romp through a particularly well-developed game world.  But I find myself actually kind of dreading Shepard’s inevitable sack-hopping betwixt human and alien, the awkward dialogue trees leading to penetration, and the laughably bizarre sex scenes that make any given grade-Z  Skinemax softcore look like Last Tango in Paris. I remember playing the first Mass Effect and during the sex scene with Liara I was terrified my wife would walk in and I’d have to explain not the sex, but why it was so bad.

I despise how their games parade around characters as a kind of sex buffet for the players to indulge in. It’s inevitable that you start wondering which characters can and can’t be bedded. And there’s barely anything organic, natural, or realistic about the way the relationships progress. In Dragon Age, you just had to give a character enough presents to shift their meter all the way up and then you could start putting the moves on them. Jealousy could be assuaged using the same method.

They throw in the big-chested bad girl, the stern and strong-willed woman warrior, the fragile and broken abuse survivor, the chaste paragon of virtue…plenty of archetypes for the horny player to choose from.  For the ladies and gay men, there are always a couple of men on the buffet. None of whom are as stereotypical or sexualized as the women. You can even screw an animal in the first Dragon Age. No orifice is off limits- provided that there’s scripting for it.

READ ALSO:  Commands & Colours: Ancients Review

It’s such a silly, immature perception of how to incorporate relationships and intimacy in video games and it’s amazing that it’s both celebrated and given a pass by gamers, including those who are looking for greater maturity and sophistication in the stories that games tell. The first sex scene I ever saw in a video game was in the Golgo 13 video game for the NES, and it was more classy and mature than anything in a BioWare game. Duke Togo and his paramour and seen embracing  in the window of a building, and the lights go out. Simple, yet evocative. It’s that whole implication thing. No booty-rocking on the bulkheads required.

Ironically, one of the better relationships I’ve seen in any game was actually in a BioWare title- Dragon Age II. Provided you followed a certain path, the relationship between Hawke and Aveline remains platonic. They’re very close, but eventually she falls in love with another and Hawke is sort of left with this “well, what about me?” sentiment. It’s an almost tender evocation of unrequited, unspoken love and it’s also hugely realistic. If you’ve ever been in a friendship with someone like that with a similar outcome, it rings true in a way that none of the ridiculous skirt-chasing that BioWare’s characters get up to can ever be.

Sure, the sex isn’t necessarily the focus of BioWare’s games and I’m certainly not lining up to slam Mass Effect 3 on that basis. But the fact is that since the first Mass Effect, these sexual rendezvous have become a part of their brand identity, and it’s already old, predictable, and worn out. I’m over their whole sex partner buffet concept.

READ ALSO:  Pokemon White 2 First Impressions

What I’d like to see is for sex and intimacy to grow naturally out of the character writing and situations rather than from menu choices and player agency that’s driving the game toward it.  Video games writing has a long way to go to get to that point, and as long as so many gamers are thinking about games like the BioWare titles at a groin level we won’t get there any time soon. At this point, a BioWare RPG without the sex puppet buffet wouldn’t be a BioWare RPG, and that’s really kind of sad. They risk becoming little more than Harlequin romance-fantasies for a generation of gamer nerds.

Bill Abner

Bill has been writing about games for the past 16 years for such outlets as Computer Games Magazine, GameSpy, The Escapist, GameShark, and Crispy Gamer. He will continue to do so until his wife tells him to get a real job.

54 thoughts to “The BioWare Sex Puppet Buffet”

  1. but the sum of it is that their whole intimacy shtick on both sides of the equation are so poorly handled that it’s an embarrassment that so many conversations surrounding their games loop around to who screwed who.

    I knew when I hired you oh so many years ago that it was for a reason. I used to think it was because you got banned from BGG and it would be good press…and maybe I’d squeeze a few colums out of you. 

    This post is perfect.

  2. Duke Togo and his paramour and seen embracing  in the window of a building, and the lights go out. Simple, yet evocative. It’s that whole implication thing. No booty-rocking on the bulkheads required.

    Indeed!  What we need here are more… Tales of Ribaldry!

    https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/tales-of-ribaldry/280257

    In all seriousness I agree.  It’s silly, and it kind of undermines their games somewhat for me.  I’ve avoided it altogether in some games (my first playthrough in ME2, actually), and other times did it just to watch my wife roll her eyes (the elf girl in DA2).  But it does nothing positive for the overall stories; it’s just another sidequest taking time from what Shepard should be doing.

  3. First of all, wow a NHS post that says something good about DA2.  Didn’t see that one coming.

    Joking aside though, I feel like you’re playing both sides here.  On the one hand, you compliment the Aveline relationship for being platonic with a bit of love-lost feel to it.  But, then, you say: 

    What I’d like to see is for sex and intimacy to grow naturally out of the character writing and situations rather than from menu choices and player agency that’s driving the game toward it.

    However, wasn’t that exactly where the Aveline situation came from?  You could play it such that Hawke had purely platonic feelings for her.  You could also make Hawke have unrequited love for her, an effect that you seem to be complimenting.  Either situation certainly felt less scummy than the more traditional BioWare relationship options, but both ways also originated from the same menu-driven choices that you then denigrate in Mass Effect.

    While I agree that many BioWare relationships feel like an exercise in nerdy fantasy fulfillment, I don’t think it’s the player-agency or menu options that are the source of the problem.  It’s just that a lot of the “romance dialogue” is badly written and/or is obviously forced.   This isn’t always the case however, and it seems a little drastic to condemn the method because of poor execution.

     

  4. Barnes, this and your post on Homefront are two of my favorite games articles on the internet.  NHS, thanks again for existing.  Sometimes I wonder if the other blogs are even paying attention.

    I feel like we’re giving devs too much credit for the story and characters we’re being served.  Square Enix is busying itself boiling Final Fantasy into a paste, and meanwhile western developers seem too quick to pat themselves on the back for their story elements (especially now that many of them are bringing in professional writers to touch things up, with little practical result; Gears 3 and Mirror’s Edge come to mind for me).

    I don’t mind a schlocky story in my games if the draw is the gameplay.  I just wish developers and reviewers would stop pretending we’ve reached some kind of turning point in the medium when elements like the Mass Effect relationships are supposed to represent the current apex of story and character-driven play.

  5. Yes, I might should have made that point more clearly- the Aveline situation is in fact very natural and you’re right, it does come from what you decide as the player and how you react to certain elements in the story. I’m not necessarily denigrating the menu-driven choices- it is more that it’s so badly written and forced. It’s not the method so much as the execution, and also the sex buffet context the menu choices are employed in.

    I gave DA2 a very good review here, a two parter in fact. I liked it a lot. Definitely a lot of problems, but it’s BioWare’s most progressive game.

  6. That’s really the main problem with sex scenes in games.  We’ve gotten really good at rag doll physics, but we can’t seem to make two digital actors become physically intimate without making it look horribly awkward.  Less is more, people!  Just imply what went down and let our good old imaginations fill in the details.  It’s even cheaper to make this way!  Everybody wins!

  7. While I agree that the romances or whatever you want to call them could be much better written and handled in a more natural and realistic way, I like that they are a feature in these games.  In each of the BioWare games I’ve played – both Dragon Ages and Mass Effects – I found that the relationship that I had in each game greatly enhanced the overall experience of playing the game.

    For example, in Dragon Age, I played the human noble.  I was playing as a very honorable character who was trying to make his deceased family proud and live a life that his parents would be proud of to make their sacrifice worthwhile (though he did have a blood vendetta against that one guy who betrayed them).  I eventually had my character start a relationship with Morgan.  The idea was that he liked her independent spirit and felt like she wasn’t given a fair chance and all she needed was the love of a good man.  That was the premise I had for their relationship.  This was despite warnings from other characters, like Wynn and Allister, that Morgan couldn’t be trusted.  That aspect of the game made the whole – sleep with me to give me a god-demon baby or if not tell Allister to sleep with me to give me a god-demon baby – perhaps one of my favoritle plot twists/revelations in my 30 years of video gaming.  It was devastating.  They were right, I was wrong, not to mention the fact that I just lost my most powerful mage for the last battle.  The ability to have relationship with Morgan, despite the Harlequinesque writing and aspects to it, lead to that moment.  It was fantastic.

    The other exmaple is the relationship my Shepard had with Jack in Mass Effect 2.  I loved Jack (I’ve always had a thing for bald women) as a character.  I thought she had a fantastic back story and felt like the various romantic options that were available to her were very true to her character and key in developing both her and the relationship between she and Shepard.  You could have the wild, angry “hate sex” at some point then she’d turn cold and shut you out, since you were just like every other “relationship” she had, or you could take the other approach and see a whole different side of the Jack character and some important character development.

    Similarly, the Liara/Shepard relationship in Mass Effect one really made Liara’s transformation into what she became in Mass Effect two all the more impactful, puzzling and interesting.  It really made me care about that character and why she became who she was.

    While I agree with the overall premise that they are not always written all that well and handled and there is a bit of the ole sex buffet aspect to it, dismissing the relationships in these games as just that is a huge disservice to what they can bring in terms of story and character development, not just the NPC, but for your character as well.  

    Perhaps because I’ve been playing role-playing games, both table top and video game, for over 30 years, I may dream up a little more about my character and the relationship than what the game offers.  In my old X-Com games I used to role-play certain characters, give them personalties, back stories, relationships and everything. 

  8. Baldur’s Gate 2 is a game that got romance (at least the one I tried) completely right. I played a good character and went through the romance with Viconia (The evil drow cleric) and I remember getting very invested in it. It went through a whole denial because of fear thing and in the end you could actually change her alignment. And no silly sex stuff, only words and then darkness.

  9. I don’t think I’ve ever posted a comment of any length here that wasn’t caught by the spam filter.  I think it hates me.

  10. I think my last 8 posts have all been stopped by the spam filter.  Bill does a wonderful job of clearing the filter though, not one post hasn’t eventually been put up, but the fact that every post of the last few weeks requires it does annoy me (and I’m sure Bill too).

  11. You got that right…

    I promise this spam nonsense will go away very soon. The new NHS redesign is almost ready,

  12. The first post NOT stopped by the spam filter in weeks is the one complaining about said filter.

    Perhaps that’s the secret.  Maybe having the word spam in the post tells the filter the post is not spam… 

     

    egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam; or lobster thermidor aux crevettes, with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle paté, brandy and a fried egg on top and spam

    Ha! if my theory is right then this post should go through no problem

  13. I plan to try for the achievement where you nail a male, female, and cyborg all with the same character.

    But then again I’m just a hopeless romantic.

  14. Sorry, I forgot that you reviewed the game positively to begin with.  Listening to the podcast crew tee off on it had me confused.

    And you’re right about DA2.  Bioware took a lot of risks with its design, and while some of them didn’t quite work, at least they made the attempt.

  15. Personally, I enjoy the relationships my characters have had in Bioware games, and not in a “Dude, I just banged that chick” kind of way. I feel like for the characters my Shepard has been with (Liara and Tali), the relationship did come naturally. Getting far with most Bioware matches involves getting to know and understand the character intimately. Knowing what they like (and not just gift-wise, though yeah, that was kind of dumb). Getting over emotional baggage. Creating a connection between two people that means more than lust (especially in Tali’s case). These relationships are handled rather well. This isn’t God of War, where you meet some naked chicks, beat a quick time event, and have sex. This requires time, effort, and caring about the person in question, like a real relationship. Of course it’s not exactly the same, no virtual relationship ever come close, but I don’t think it’s the mess you’re describing it as.

  16. I’m glad you wrote this post. It’s something I’ve felt for years but have failed to see verbalized or written too often. It’s strange how over the top obvious nerd pandering like in Duke Nukem, Shadows of the Damned or Bulletstorm gets critisized quite vocally whereas the more subtle forms of nerd sex pandering get totally missed by the media. Mass Effect has been guilty of this for years. Every woman is unbelievably hot and the guys too in most cases, even alien ladies are earth standard hot. I honestly believe that the ME games are every bit as sexist as Duke Nukem but they get away with it under the guise of “relationship” rather then just straight out sex. To me the Mass Effect style may be more insidious because no one takes those other scripts seriously, it’s out in the open, all the sexuality is clear and straight forward. In the ME games it’s hidden and couched behind all kinds of fake relationship status. As soon as you look at the youtube video’s or see the acheivment lists or notice that Jessica Chobot is a “romanceable character” it should be clear as day.

  17. Well to be honest it’s no worse than most of what Hollywood puts out there.  I mean really, are there many examples in film where the protagonists are anything but super attractive people between 20-45?  Sure you have exceptions but it’s much the same.

    Hell Kirk’s motto in Star Trek may as well have been ‘Blue? Lets screw.’

    And as far as fantasy, watch romantic comedies.  Most of them feature protagonists who are verbally or mentally abusive, manipulative, and stubborn, whom believe every problem with their relationship can be fixed if they can get their man to change to her will.  And these are protrayed as being heroic/ honorable/ exemplary for those watching.  Those are just as pandering to their audience as anything Bioware has done.

    Now I’m not saying I view this as acceptable, it really isn’t, but that real relationships are hard.  Portraying a deep real relationship in any media is generally dropped because that’s what the audience wants.  They want a maudlin shallow experience where things are clear, and they can generally be assured that the people they are rooting for get what they want.  They want that because that isn’t the way it works in real life, so they want a brief escape to a happier place.

    Deeper portrayals are by nescesity niche, since your average media consumer isn’t looking for deeper.

  18. I really don’t agree with this point at all.  Yes, most of the men and women in Mass Effect and Dragon Age would be considered attractive.  And, yes, many of the women in these games don’t always wear the most practical outfits (Morgan, Jack, Isabella, etc.), but I don’t particularly find what these games do to be all that insidious at all, especially given the medium.  Obviously certain nerd-targeted or, more accurately, young men-targeted media like video games and comic books have a long way to go in the way they portray women.  This is nothing new or ground breaking. 

    That said, I have found many of the female characters in BioWare’s games to be very well written and complex characters and not just hot peices of ass in revealing clothing.  Just because you can have a “relationship” with them that results in a pretty cheesy cut scene in most cases, doesn’t make them any less of a character.  You add in the potential for same-sex romances and that’s even more impressive.

  19. I respectfully disagree. Star Wars has a great romance, and they are on the run from the Empire (Han and Leia… Luke and Leia is a totally different issue). Battlestar Galactica depecits the destruction of the majority of human kind, it sure has heck does not exclude romantic interactions. All great space operas has romance. Why shouldn’t Mass Effect? Because it is a video game?  I like Bioware’s option (option, not mandotory) to have romance. I’m sorry that you don’t, but I don’t understand the need to attack Bioware and their fans.

  20. I think you’ve misinterpreted the argument; the issue being addressed here isn’t the romance, but how it’s handled. I doubt anyone’s going to argue that the Star Wars movies are guilty of the type of pandering BioWare committed with the whole Jessica Chobot kerfuffle.

  21. Having recently played ME2, I find the relationship options/dialogue were way more ham-fisted and out-of-character than in the first game. It seemed that I’d be going from ‘Hi how are you?’ to ‘LET US MAKE LOVE NOW’ in one conversation, and I kept accidentally flirting with characters without meaning to (I’m looking at you, Jacob the Bland). In the end, I had a relationship with Garrus in ME2 which was adorably awkward, but they certainly tried to play it for laughs rather than any real romance.

    In ME1, however, I had a relationship with Kaiden that I thought worked pretty well; at the very least, it didn’t feel like my female Shepard was changing gears from ‘I am a serious commander’ to ‘I want to sex right now’ every time I chose a new dialogue option.

    That said, with the inclusion of Jessica Chobot in ME3 doesn’t exactly fill me with hope when it comes to nuanced relationship stories.

    I never played a lot of Baldur’s Gate II, but I do remember thinking the relationship with Jaheira actually seemed to progress naturally, but I was 16 then, so I wasn’t exactly the best judge of what would be considered an interesting romance subplot.

  22. While I generally agree with the article, I’d like to point out that I found the Jack romance in ME2 quite good. It was tender and somewhat realistic, and generally well-written – and, surprisingly, it was more about the relationship itself (love, respect, and trust) than it was about sex. In fact, if you went for sex in the first chance you got, you couldn’t go on a real relationship with Jack, because she’d see you as just some other guy taking advantage of her. I thought that was refreshing, as far as Bioware romance goes.

    That said, my main playthrough in Mass Effect 1 and 2 had my male Shepard in a committed relationship with Ashley, and I intend to keep it that way in ME3. From a role-playing perspective, my Shepard has goosebumps every time she calls him “Skipper”. He’s just a romantic fool, I guess.

    But, since we’re on the subject of romance and sex in games, who here has played The Witcher 2?

  23. to bang any hot alien ass that comes within his (her?) eyeline. I’ll let it slide under the Kirk Clause. As much as Bioware encourages multiple playthroughs to get different outcomes and unlock them ‘cheevs and alternate endings, I tend to play all their games in a way that results in a character I can identify with, yet I feel I get more out of the experience because I can do so without encountering any egregious examples of being stuck in a situation where I have to make my Shep do or say anything that I think is ridiculous or out of character. I think that recommends Bioware’s writing approach far more than anything as simplistic as “different choices get you different outcomes!”. At this point I have such a good idea of who my Shep is that I actually got a bit of a case of goosebumps when I played through the ME3 demo and saw her in action again. I don’t know if I could make that same connection if I’d treated Shep like an empty shell to ransack every possible outcome. Or maybe I’m just a sucker.

    Still, it’s fundamentally a limited system they’re working with and I think pulling at the loose threads the way gamers always do tends to undermine the greatest achievement of Bioware’s quasi-free will approach that is belied by their marketing pitch: you can play one character that really does feel organic and natural, which to me sounds far more attractive than grinding the same content several times with several different profoundly bizarre and inhuman characters. In perspective, it makes perfect sense that doing a playthrough to unlock the “max Renegade/Paragon/Manwhore” medal yields a despicable or unbelievable character, because that’s just not how real people behave.

  24. I replayed Baldur’s Gate II a few years ago, once I’d clambered into my twenties, and I can assure you that the Jaheira romance remains very natural and heartfelt. Of course, it was more about loss, memory, and kindness during hard times than sexy times, but that seems to be the lesson Bioware keeps forgetting — perhaps wilfully. Stories should never be what they’re about, all the more so when it comes to big stuff like love and war.

  25. From the article: “Call me old fashioned, but I’m playing these games to see robots and aliens- not to have some kind of silly pubescent fantasy of conquest and virility.”

    It seems to me that the argument is that space operas should have robots and aliens, and not romance. Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, and Star Trek all argue against that.

  26. I’m with you Griff, (can I call you Griff? We’re all friends here, right?) and I agree entirely with the sentiment in the article. I’m glad someone shares my feelings on the matter and was able to articulate them considerably better than I have. I found a lot of the dialogue surrounding the jump-into-bed option absolutely horrid.

    I will accept that some are better than others and I did feel that Jack’s dialogue setup was one of the better ones. In fact after heading some way down that path with Jack my Shepard backed out, not wanting to risk the working relationship by rushing into a physical one. I ultimately went for Tali, which I still had to grit my teeth through parts of, mainly at how terribly thick the innocent-awkward-curious-geek-girl crap was laid on through the whole ordeal. After suffering through it, I STILL didn’t get to see what was under the helmet!! So ripped off. I find everything about Miranda repulsive and was a bit disappointed that there wasn’t a proper “romance” option for the redhead that seems to serve little other purpose than to be a cute decoration for the bridge.

    I’m due to play through it again before I launch into ME3, and it will be with my female Shep, who will continue her relationship with Liara, if for no other reason than the female-female sex scenes somehow seem less awkward than the male-female ones.

  27. Totally agree w/ this. It’s not the fact that you can romance characters. It’s all in the delivery. I had no issue at all with the romance options in Baldur’s Gate. They never seemed out of place. Perhaps that’s partly due to it being text w/o voice overs? It leaves something to the imagination, perhaps? As soon as the games tried to go Hollywood, they lost me when it comes to the sack jumping.

    And I will never forget that horrible DAge presentation Bioware did.

    “Lets nail the sexy witch!”

    Check please.

  28. I’ve heard that there’s some better-than-expected relationship stuff in Witcher 2…I can’t wait to play the 360 version.

    I didn’t do the Jack storyline, but those are some good points about it.

  29. Yes, I’d agree that the Jaheira storyline was a good example of a natural and well-written romance…definitely not the cheesy sex thing that BioWare does now. You also didn’t play through BGII wondering what dialogue options would lead to the sex scene.

  30. As other posters have suggested below, I think you’re missing a key point. I’m all for romance and relationships in games. More, please. But not in the way BioWare does it by parading sex partners in front of the players and creating this idiotic sex buffet mentality. It’s, as Jon Jacob suggested here, pandering and frankly I think it’s demeaning to the entire concept of relationships in video games.

    Also, you are misrepresenting my opinion here. I’m not attacking BioWare at all, and I am in fact a BioWare fan. That doesn’t mean I have to like everything they do. As for fans, if you get turned on by making time with the blue ladies in a video game, that’s your thing. But yeah, I will make fun of you for it.

  31. Yeah, the Tali thing is grating. Helmeted alien or not, she’s another stereotype, another dish on the hot bar.

    The helmet business is either a horrendously sexist device to deny her a face or to hide that she looks like Velma on Scooby Doo.

  32. I disagree. But I’ll be respectful about it, and this will be my last post on the topic. But I don’t think that making fun of folks that like the writing of the characters is the right way to go about it.

  33. To some extent, you’re right about female game characters coming a long way. Yet BioWare’s context still makes them sex objects, so it is insidious. You go into a BioWare game KNOWING that you’re gonna get laid. Just because the women talk or shoot a gun before sex doesn’t make them automatically “empowered”.

    The problem isn’t necessarily in depiction. It’s also in how the audience- and in fact, the teen to young adult male audience- recieves these characters. But some of that has to do with culture more than anything that BioWare does.

  34. I appreciate disagreement. But I’m not quite clear where in the article I was making fun of the folks the like the writing. Big difference between liking the writing and getting off on the R-rated sex stuff.

  35. God of War…don’t get me started. Those games are the rock-bottom of many aspects of modern video gaming. Sex and depiction of women notwithstanding.

  36. You know, I thought about the Kirk thing as I was writing this…but I think the difference is in the intent. Kirk is a man’s man, and much like James Bond that’s part of the character. It’s also more of a playful thing. I think it’s very different in the context of a roleplaying game where there is a “you” (more or less) in the game making decisions. There’s a different psychology at work.

    That’s a great point about how getting those particular achievments yields a less realistic character.

  37. Yeah, there’s something there about the Hollywood-ization of games and depictions of sex and relationships, isn’t there? Thing is, the concept of “romance” in the BioWare world isn’t that far removed from a straight-to-video potboiler.

  38. There actually is a romance option with Kelly, your redhead assistant, but you have to turn down her offer to feed your fish and pursue no other leads for it to trigger. Otherwise you get the “friend zone”, which I find sadly indicative of how Bioware writes their so-called love storylines these days.

    I think she dances for you in a futuristic catsuit. I admit I’m intrigued, but who wants to actually have to take care of their pets?

  39. The Jaheira romance actually got me emotionally invested in the game, to the point I genuinely cared about the interactions between my party members, and my choices throughout the game, it turned the game into true roleplay for me, which is a lot more than can be said for Dragon Age 2, or ME2. I genuinely think they need to take a look at what made the BG romances “special” and then see if they can recapture some of that candid, natural feeling that the personalities and their interactions gave.

  40. But of course you can call me Griff, Legion. I use Griffington because it’s virtually the only way I can guarantee myself a handle I’ll like on almost any website.

  41. Now see, if No High Scores were a BioWare RPG, Legion would hit you next with a cornball pickup line and you’d be in the sack with him, bumpin’ polygons. Provided that he didn’t choose me or Bill Abner.

  42. Damn it, Mr. Barnes, now you’ve got me wondering whether Legion’s username is meant to be interpreted literally. Not that I’m the polyamorous type or anything, but I’m thinking I might be able to knock out at least a couple of achievements right there.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.