Skip to main content

You People Are Never Satisfied!

You people. The lot of you. Always wanting “more” and never being satisfied with what companies dribble out to you in press conferences and Youtube videos. Why is it when a company like Nintendo goes to all of the trouble to hold a huge press conference showing off what the Wii U can do that you shrug your slouched shoulders, yawn, and move on to the next shiny bauble.

It’s infuriating, really. You have this seemingly insatiable desire to be dazzled.

I mean you people can’t even tell the difference between what is clearly a phenomenon like Wii Fit and what is “ho-hum”. You laughed at Wii Fit and looked at it like a weird gimmick. Well 43 million units of Wii Fit have sold worldwide and are sitting in closets and underneath beds all across the planet so stick that in your nunchuk and smoke it. (Smoking sort of defeats the purpose of Wii Fit but what do you care?)

Now, stop asking for more, get excited, and make sure to reserve your copy of Super Mario Dance Party Paperboy IX.

READ ALSO:  Five Lies the Internet Tells about the Wii U

Bill Abner

Bill has been writing about games for the past 16 years for such outlets as Computer Games Magazine, GameSpy, The Escapist, GameShark, and Crispy Gamer. He will continue to do so until his wife tells him to get a real job.

11 thoughts to “You People Are Never Satisfied!”

  1. Dear Reggie: none of your announcements excite me. None of them will.

    The initial gaming audience never cared about Wii Fit. You were creating a new audience. That is why people who cared about Wii Fit do not care about Mario or Link or whomever, and those that care about these hoary ancient brands are no longer twelve – the age demographic of your apparent second audience.

    So yeah. Shut up. Or speak directly to the new demographic you’re courting. You’ll never hear me kvetch again.

  2. I actually agree with Reggie.

    Gamers as a whole tend to be a bunch of whiny entitled little shits.

    There wasn’t much at the show from any company, no need to tear anybody a new one. But hey, welcome to the Internet.

    There is a line between criticism and just being a dink, and the trend online is always to ‘dink’.

    1. Yeah, that’s true enough.

      WAAHH NO MULTIPLAYER. WAAAAAH KEYBOARD AND MOUSE ARE SUPERIOR, UNLESS THEY AREN’T.

      Or, full disclosure: “What?! They added multiplayer to Mass Effect 3?! That defeats the purpose of the entire design concept of the story of one (wo)man’s impact upon the galaxy! THIS RUINS EVERYTHING WAAAHHH.”

      Yeah. I’ll own that last one.

      But the Kotaku interview seems more dedicated to the specific “where my games at” beef. A beef that Nintendo doesn’t dodge well, since the process is now predictable:

      New console + 1 Mario. One surprise game that we may or may not want.
      6 months of dripping out side titles.
      New Link or Metroid.
      6 months of drip.
      Nostalgia reboot or one of the other thousand Marios.
      Drip.

      1. My thing about Nintendo, and any company really, is that whatever we may want or expect, they have no impetus to change if they are making asspiles of money.

        We may whine about Nintendo and their direction, but they sold a piss load of Wii’s and accessories.

        Yes, they should realize lightning is unlikely to strike twice. But they won’t and if the WiiU blows out of the gate, well, we will be in the same position where they aren’t going to shift direction when what they do works for them.

        Waah waah New Super Mario Bros 2, but that game sold tons on the DS, why WOULDN’T they do a sequel?

      2. Although…hell. Nintendo has this problem because it has a thousand flagship brands. Brands that Sony wishes they had, if their nightmarish-looking version of Smash Bros. is any indication.

        If they don’t renovate these old designs, I’ll complain. If they do, the “faithful” will complain.

        Damn, never mind. I’ll reply to myself now just to quit the field. The man’s right.

  3. The CUSTOMER is always right. Always. So we want more information about a console and we don’t want to waste our time watching dog and pony press conferences that regurgitate old info? And we’re the ones with the problem?

    Sorry, don’t buy it. The day we can return shitty software for refunds is the day I stop asking for as much information as I can get about a product.

    So, yeah, fuc***** dazzle me because this hobby is expensive.

  4. Dammit, first IGN asks EA why people hate EA, and now Kotaku asks Nintendo why people aren’t satisfied with Nintendo. Games journalism was supposed to become better and more critical, but it is going down further into the toilet.
    Pikmin 3 looked like it had upscaled Gamecube graphics.
    The 3DS launch was a disaster, and Nintendo is banking on the Wii’s success to repeat even though they have been losing tons of money.
    Nintendoland is interesting, but not exciting, not game-changing. It’s also not the same as announcing a new Smash Bros.
    The problem is that the new casual audience buys consoles, but not games. If you want people to buy games, you have to appeal to the core audience that made you rich in the first place. Besides, moms who bought Wii Fit couldn’t give less of a shit for HD graphics, and they likely see no reason to buy a new expensive console, especially since putting on Oprah or whatever won’t have as much of an impact anymore and even the most gamer like talk show host Jimmy Fallon can’t understand it right.
    They do need to reinvent themselves, because I don’t think there are as many “purists” out there who don’t want Zelda and Mario to change as there are people who desperately do want that. It’s all just safe safe safe for Nintendo. They could have taken big steps in being more transparent, sharing all the information that was possibly available on the WiiU and blown everyone’s minds. Instead they put on a stupid grin and go “hey we got a gimmicky zombie shooter and Batman.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.