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Star Wars: The Last Jedi

I saw The Last Jedi Monday night, over two full weeks after its release. Spoilers are ahead but you have already seen the movie. Shut up.

That fact alone should illustrate my level of enthusiasm for Star Wars movies. I wasn’t always like this. I was, like many people in their mid-40s in the year 2018, a passionate fan of the original Star Wars films. Perhaps it’s old(er) age, or perhaps the 2nd Lucas trilogy of episodes I-III were so deflating that they made me stop caring about Star Wars. If Lucas apparently didn’t understand why we loved the originals, what’s the point?

I admittedly was excited about Episode VII, The Force Awakens because, as sad as it id to say, Lucas wasn’t making it. Even that movie, which was universally praised as a return to “Star Wars being Star Wars” I was left feeling somewhat “meh.” Too silly, too jokey, too “wink wink Star Wars fans did you catch that reference we just made! We’re just like you!” It’s was the Big Bang Theory of Star Wars movies. It was also a remake of A New Hope and killing Han was and remains bullshit. You don’t KILL Indiana Jones, he always escapes. You don’t actually KILL Han Solo. You can make us think he’s dead, but you don’t KILL him unless it’s of old age…or maybe Greedo’s son shoots him in the back.

The Last Jedi was better than Force Awakens. I will give it that. But I have a lot of issues with this movie and not just as a Star Wars film. I stayed away from spoilers because I knew I would eventually see it. The only headline I saw was from Mark Hamill who said something to the effect of, “That it not my Luke Skywalker.”

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Whoa. That could be really good or really bad, whatever it meant. Turns out, it was pretty damn good. What the film did with Luke was at first jarring — Luke Skywalker has turned into a bitter old man who is so massively depressed he wants to die alone on a rock with these cute little space penguins. Luke’s path makes sense and when you think about it, it makes a hell of a lot of sense. The ordeal of Episodes IV-VI would mind-fuck pretty much anyone, even a Jedi. Then when Luke fails training young Jedi, and fails Han and Leia’s kid, his mind snaps and he retreats into a self-hating mess. Maybe not the ideal Luke storyline, but I can get behind it. And Luke’s end game is also perfect. It’s the hero Resurrection story but without Luke going toe to toe with the dark Jedi. He uses his mind and slips away into Jedi peace-land. Really good.

Outside of the Luke stuff, The last Jedi did very little for me.

So apparently Rey is a super strong Jedi with no training whatsoever. Luke’s training consists of a few verbal warnings and the “reach out” technique. After that she can move rocks around like she’s Yoda. I guess her Midi-chlorian numbers are off the charts! Fucking Lucas. This bugged me in Force Awakens and bugs me even more after Last Jedi.

You can take a huge Rebel (sorry, Resistance) cruise ship, send it into a Star Destroyer at LIGHT SPEED and apparently the Destroyer can take that on the chin.

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So if the tracker is on ONE Resistance ship, why not have everyone go to light speed in a different direction? “Ok team, you go here, you go here, you go here and they can’t follow ALL of us. Ready, break!”

So Leia was Wonder Woman all along? Her space flying scene was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in a Star Wars movie. When she got blown off the ship I looked at Mary and said, “Shit they actually killed Leia…and early.” Then she space walks like Buzz Aldrin back onto the ship. W.T.F. Do not fgive me her “Jedi powers.” No. Stop it. No. No.

Ok so this Snoke guy. What’s his deal? Oh, you don’t know either? I guess you just gotta have that Evil Emperor character and since Vader already tossed the original down the shaft, why not just invent a new one? Makes perfect sense to me. I also hate the First Order in general. Can we not get new bad guys? A new storyline that isn’t a recycle of shit we have already seen?

Ackbar goes out like that? Damn man that’s kinda harsh.

So I guess Finn and Rose take a trip to Space Monaco to kill some run time in the movie and make sure Finster gets his cameo. That entire sequence was a massive filler. This is all they could do with Finn? Total waste.

The more I thought about the movie, as well as Episode VII, I realized why I was so indifferent to these movies.

Timothy Zahn ruined this for me. Thanks Tim. What I wanted were Jedi twins, Mara Jade, Talon Karrde, Han & Lando, crazy hermit Jedi Joruus C’baoth, and Grand Admiral Fucking Thrawn.

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That’s what I wanted. Impossible due to the age of the actors, I get it. But I will take Thrawn over Snoke/Emperor 2.0 any day.

Bill Abner

Bill has been writing about games for the past 16 years for such outlets as Computer Games Magazine, GameSpy, The Escapist, GameShark, and Crispy Gamer. He will continue to do so until his wife tells him to get a real job.

6 thoughts to “Star Wars: The Last Jedi”

  1. I also liked TLJ, though I have noticed that there are no shades of grey in the opinions of this film. People love it or hate it.

    Luke, Rey, and Kylo Ren had the best storylines and scenes easily. I felt like they went far to subtle with Finn. I’ve read some responses that say that this movie was supposed to show Finn the moral ambiguity of everyone involved in the conflict and have him consciously choose a side for ideological reasons instead of “let me join the side of the guy who gave me a jacket.” After some thought, I can see this interpretation, but that fact that it didn’t jump off the screen is still a problem.

    The filmmakers were written into a weird corner when Carrie Fisher died. Everyone expected her character to die in this movie, since the actress did. Leia flying through space needed better setup and consequently didn’t work. Apparently the long-term plans for the trilogy were to kill off Han, Luke, and Leia successively. Those plans are kinda shot now.

    We’ll never get answers about Snoke, and I get the impression that were were never supposed to. It’s just a mystery, or something. Good death scene, but meh.

  2. The more I thought about the movie, as well as Episode VII, I realized why I was so indifferent to these movies.

  3. I enjoyed TLJ, but it was definitely not without his flaws. Canto Bight was a total waste of time.

    I’m mostly just here posting because I can’t believe there was a new post here! I would love to see this site come back…

  4. Wow, my heart skipped a beat when I saw a new post from No High Scores! So many memories… so many feels… 😉

    I can’t really disagree with you, Bill. I enjoyed the movie, but I thought it went too far into the entertainment factor (with all the jokes and “ha, here’s a twist! you never saw it coming!”) and never got to develop the characters well (apart from Luke, Kylo, and Rey). But, as every “middle” movie in a trilogy, it can be elevated by the third movie, so I’m cautiously optimistic. We’ll see.

    And yeah, there are much better stories in the extended Universe – even if we go with games only. The Old Republic games, even the Jedi Knight games told better stories than this one for me. I’m glad we still have them, even if they’re not “cannon”.

    And let’s not forget the Clone Wars and Rebels series. I don’t think any movie series will be that good.

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